Bills, Bills, Bills

There are certain things I expected when I "quit" swimming.  The first and most obvious was weight gain.  Regardless of trying to work out or not, I prepared myself and knew this was inevitable.  The second thing I prepared myself for was missing the sport, getting the urge to swim again.  I knew I'd miss friends and the feeling in the water.  What I did not expect to gain was anxiety.

Up until this point in my life I've considered myself a fairly calm, easy going person.  I hope people would describe me as driven, goal-oriented and hardworking as well, but for the most part I tried to take things as they came.  Roll with the punches, if you will.  But lately, I've found that I am anything but laid back.  I find myself stressing about everything.  But at the top of that list are bills, bills and more bills.  I know I am not the only person worrying about these things.  They're natural things to worry about and in a way, it's good that I am concerned about my spendings.  But because I no longer have the outlet of swimming and the constant pushing my body to exhaustion, I find myself staying up at night worrying about things completely out of my control, while my yellow lab, Deuce, snores peacefully on the bed next to me.

Deuce, always cool and calm under pressure

I recently accepted a seasonal position with a company in the DC area.  While I am excited about the prospects of a new adventure with a growing company, I find that my excitement is completely overshadowed by my crippling anxiety. I worry how I will be able to pay rent.  Will I find the right roommate?  How can I pay for a place to live with such a low income?  And forget just the rent.  How can I possibly manage to pay my utilities, my phone bill, my car insurance, my health insurance, not to mention gas, groceries while leaving (if even just a little) room for a social life so I don't go insane?

As if this doesn't give me enough anxiety, I tack a few more things to the list.  I worry about fitting in time for working out,  having enough time and energy for a long distance relationship (should I have stayed near him?  Will he ever move to me? Will we be able to make it?  Will the last four years be for nothing?).  Add to that the anxiety over having my stuff spread between my parents house, in a suitcase, and in a storage center (adds to the stress because of the monthly cost) and it's enough to drive a person completely and utterly insane.  It's exhausting and its enough to leave me defeated before I've even begun.

My mom suggests yoga.  That I need to find a way to release all of my worries and learn how to cope with them again.  I know I need to learn how to let people help me, but as an athlete, you get used to helping yourself.  You're under the impression that as long as you work hard enough, anything is possible.  This theory is similar to the fairy tale ending where a prince will sweep you off your feet and ride off into a sunset with your hair strategically and beautifully flowing in the wind.  Dream on.  Hard work is great and it is an admirable quality that I believe is imperative, but it doesn't always equal success.

But I'm starting to ask myself the question, what is success?  Is it happiness?  Financial security? And more importantly, where do I fall in all of this?  Do I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be in the "right" job with the "right" salary?

Hopefully I'll find in the end that this is just a normal phase in a post-athlete's search for normalcy and everything will soon calm down, that I'll learn just as every one else has, to adjust to "real" life and find a way to make it work.

But until then, here's to countless tablets of Tum's and relaxing breaths!

When life gives you lemons...

When life gives you lemons...well, you know what you do.

I am officially homeless.  Well, not homeless (thanks mom and dad!).  I'm over exaggerating of course.  But I have officially moved out of my New Haven apartment and am currently in the "what-now?" phase of my life.  Again.

But I've learned to just go with it.  It's not the worst thing in the world to not know what comes next in life.  Being the very planned person that I am, this has taken me a long time to realize, but I'm getting there.  There are certain facts that are irrefutable and you can either accept them or fight against them.

Here are the facts:
1. The economy sucks.
2. Barely any company is hiring people with no experience.
3. "Entry" level jobs have become jobs requiring 1-2 years prior experience.
4. It seems that a bachelor's degree is just about as good as a high school diploma.
5. Using your connections is no longer a shameful act but one of necessity.  Companies are shamelessly admitting to this, only using a friendlier term: "networking".
6. Your first job will NOT be your dream job.
7. You are not as smart as you once imagined.

Found on: http://www.glasbergen.com/job-interview-cartoons/

In short, those four years you put into countless papers, late nights, early mornings, in many athletes' cases years of juggling a sport, classes, physical rehab, mandatory athletic functions, etc. was worthless.    Well, that's how it seems at least.

So what do you do while waiting for a company to recognize how amazingly talented and wonderful you are and how they will never succeed as a company without your zero years of naturally nurtured ability?  Well, you probably sit on the couch that your parents paid for with their hard-earned money, watching "Say Yes to the Dress" or "Keeping Up with the Kardashian" re-runs for the millionth time on a TV your parents paid for, using the cable they pay every month and eating the food that they...you guessed it, paid for...without your help.  In the meantime, your parents begin to wonder why they took that second job to put you through college.  Sound familiar?  Maybe just a little?

Found on: http://www.distance-education.org/Articles/Top-Five-Financial-Mistakes-New-College-Graduates-Make-135.html

Well, I can only watch Kris and Bruce Jenner fight about Kris meeting up with a former flame so many times before I crack and realize that my boredom and lack of productivity is no one's fault but my own.  So here's what I did...

I became pro-active with my life.  Novel idea, eh?

Granted, I have been very, very lucky to have such great and caring people in my life that see something in me that I perhaps do not even see in myself.  But whether you know it or not, we all have those people who are not only willing, but want to help you.  So let them.

The one thing that I have learned in waiting for a permanent job is STAY BUSY.  Make money any way you can.  Work odd jobs.  Companies would rather see that you're at least staying busy, that you're not the type of person who feels bad for themselves and gives up because, poor you, no company wants to hire someone with zero knowledge of their product and even less experience.

The more odd jobs you work, the more people you will meet.  And *ding *ding *ding more networking!  For the last month I've worked the most unlikely jobs.  I've worked in a dog grooming shop (which is more fun than work when you love dogs the way I do), I've driven a car to the Hamptons for someone who is uncomfortable with driving the distance from Maryland to New York, I've house-sitted, dog-sitted, child-sitted, given swim lessons.  You name it, no job is too small or too big for me to accept at this point.  And let's face it, if you don't have many options at the time, then why not?

Not only am I staying busy and making money, but I have made lasting connections with the people employing me for these jobs.  It's inevitable that they're going to ask things like, "So what are your plans?"  Tell them.  Explain what you want to do.  Chances are, they know someone in the business and this may come as a shock, so prepare yourself...you are NOT the only person to be unemployed.  You are not the only person struggling to find a job straight out of school.  You are not that special, sorry.

When my dad graduated from college, the economy was just about as awful as it is today.  Instead of feeling sorry for himself my dad, who was a pre-vet major, stayed busy.  He took a job with a carpenter...cleaning toilets and doing basically anything they asked him to do.  To add insult to injury they called him "college girl" and made sure he knew he was not special just because he had a degree.  He worked there for 2 years before joining the Coast Guard and later became an American Airlines pilot.  Because of those two years, my dad is incredibly handy.  He's built a shed at each house I've lived in and done countless home renovation projects.  In addition, this is the same man that sent his children all over the world, gave us a glowing childhood and left us wanting for nothing.  It's hard to say those two years were a mistake or a waste.

Overall, there is nothing you can do right now that would be a mistake, except to do nothing.  Feel motivated yet?  Good.  Go out there and start your life because no one is going to hand you something. Work and be patient and good things will come.

Good luck!

Found on Pinterest